Goal Setting the Conan O’Brien Way
BySunday night I was watching Conan O’Brien on Inside the Actor’s Studio. During the interview Conan talked about how as a university student he plastered the campus with caricatures of himself. When people asked him why, he told them it was advanced advertising for the Conan O’Brien Show he planned to have some day.
The story was an amusing anecdote but it illustrated an important point about goal setting. Here was a college kid who had no way of knowing he was ever going to be on television but he had a clear goal, told people about it and acted as if it would come true.
It also reminded me of something I had long ago forgotten. About 15 years ago when my parents moved houses I went through some boxes of childhood memorabilia. In one box was a cassette tape labeled “The Andrea Stenberg Show”.
Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) at some point I’d taped over it with music. However, I do remember the show. I was about nine. I was the host and interviewed guests. Now as it happens, my sister played the part of all the guests. I created different identities for her and she adlibbed.
I find it interesting that as an adult I’ve managed to recreate my childhood fantasy into “Andrea’s More Effective Marketing Podcast“. I still interview guests, although in this case they are real guests, not my sister.
So what can we learn from Conan and my long lost tape? When you have a goal, don’t worry about how you’ll make it happen. Focus on the goal and do what you can to make it real. Make the goal concrete by writing it down or better yet share it publicly. Then take actions to move you forward, however small those actions may be.
By putting posters about around campus, Conan was telling the universe (and his subconscious) that he was serious. Show yourself you’re serious about your own goals too by taking action today.
Andrea J. Stenberg
Do you have any childhood or youthful goals that have come true in recent years (even though you’d forgotten about the goal)? Please leave a comment and share your story.
Andrea-
What a delightful piece! During your career journey as an adult, I think it is always helpful to go back to what you liked, thought, and did as a child. Sometimes it can be very insightful. For most of us, our childhoods were untouched by the “shoulds” and the harsh realities of adult life. For me, there is something comforting (and neat) about seeing a theme over the course of your life and being able to live it out in a way that is both personally and professional prosperous.
As I was putting together my company over the last year, it hit me that what I am doing was a natural flow from what I valued and liked to do as a child. In fact, I even talked about it in my bio: http://www.SaquiResearch.com/Saqui.html!
Cheers to our childhood dreams!
Andrea, this is inspiring in a gentle, relaxed kind of way. It’s not stressing on what are the “right” goals to choose now – it’s looking back at what you naturally drifted to when you were young. As Ursula said, it’s “about seeing a theme over the course of your life.” I think it does keep recurring in life to remind us that maybe we should be doing this “for real.”
You know, it’s funny that when I was younger I was always envious of people who knew what they wanted to do with their lives because I didn’t. Looking back, I realize I did know what I wanted, I just didn’t listen to myself. I wonder why some of us as children listen to our hearts, and some of us take longer? If I knew the answer, maybe I could help my son avoid the same mistake.
I think parents play a key role in helping children direct their dreams. Speaking from past experience as a psychotherapist, transgenerational messages (both covert and overt) about what are the “right” and “acceptable” careers can be very strong and have a huge influence on children.
Parents can also be helpful in assisting children in enlarging their vision about how to best achieve their goal. For example, I wanted to help people so I became a psychotherapist because that is what you do when you want to help people, right? It didn’t occur to me until later that there are many, many ways to help people.
What I try to do as a parent is take a balanced approach to helping my children investigate what they would like to do. I validate their emotional desire but also undergo a fact-finding mission with them. For example, my son wants to be a vet because he loves animals. I certainly don’t discourage him but we also discuss the factual nature of working as a vet-the years of schooling, the possibility of having to put animals to sleep, etc. I also try to suggest other vocations he could explore in which he could his utilize his love of animals-photography, nutrition, training, etc.
No matter what, I think if you are meant to do something it will keep resurfacing over and over again. Then the question becomes-are you paying attention? For me, it becomes a matter of making myself my own research project!
Ursula,
So true about the “right” or “acceptable” messages we send our kids – and that we absorbed when we were kids. I know with my son I’ve tried to stress how much of what I’m doing in my business didn’t even exist when I was young. The internet? Facebook? Blogs? All new technology. Who knows what he’ll have available to him in 10, 15, 20 years? Star Trek here we come!
And it’s so true that what you are meant to do keeps resurfacing, even if you try to ignore it. I once wrote a purpose statement that read “To use my writing and speaking skills to tell stories that excite, inspire and teach people.”
In spite of this, I spent several years avoiding, dodging and fighting opportunities to teach. Then one day I really looked at what I wrote and shook my head. Whatever I do, I’m first and foremost a teacher. That realization transformed my business.
As a former child
, I definitely agree that the parent’s opinions add a great deal of weight. Along with teachers, peers, etc. I think that we did know what we’d like to do, but we abandoned it as we learned what was considered the more “responsible” path. Maybe the difference in those who appear to have known what they want from the start is just that they stood their ground.